Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Moving is a pain in the yang

In case you haven't figured it out, the Fishman is moving. On Monday, I'll start my new job in Glasgow, Ky., about 45 miles east of Bowling Green and about a 1/2 hour south from some very old friends in Elizabethtown ... well, not old, but Shortcake is getting up in years ;-)

Anyway, I move into my new place on Sept. 2 (which just happens to be my birthday as well). Well, at least I hope I move. I've been packing crap for going on 2 weeks and it's like I've never started .. and I'm fricking single, one person, solo, uno, eine. In other words, I don't have much more than an apartment ... although I'm running into odd things from time to time. For instance, yesterday I uncovered a shirt I would wear to wrestling tournaments which, today, would be little more than a loin cloth for me (stop drooling girls ... or is that just prevomit?) ;-) ... Why I haven't thrown that away, I'll never know ... much like about a billion other things that seem to have appeared in my apartment.

Of course, when I do get everything ready, I have to pray that my moving truck is ready on the day I go pick it up. You put down $475 and they tell you, we can't guarantee it, but it should be here. If not, I get to scurry around at the last minute searching for another one to drive around like a tank and hope it fits my billions of trinkets.

Then, there's switching your address, hooking up power, water, sewer, gas, cable, telephone, NASA ground tracking and Amish Mafia repellent .... it's just crazy. Hopefully, I'll come through it alive and be able to start doing this again ... especially since I'm going back to working days :-D!!!! Yay!!!

So, don't give up on me if you're still reading .... there's going to be a party in Glasgow and you're invited!!!

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Hey, here's a column I wrote about Harry Potter the day it was coming out.

Fish’s column

Wild about Harry

I’m not ashamed to admit it, I’m a geek.
At midnight, I’ll be standing in line with a bunch of children dressed in robes and toting broomsticks to secure a copy of the latest boy wizard tome, “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.”
Pretty much the only difference between them and I will be that I most certainly will not be carrying a broomstick – I prefer a wand – and that it will take roughly about four children to equal one of me – because I too often prefer Krispy Kreme doughnuts.
I don’t care.
It’s worth it to see what kind of magical mischief Mr. Potter can get himself into – and out of – in J.K. Rowling’s sixth of seven novels in the series.
More importantly, it’s amazing to see so many children lining up to read. Not play video games, not burn CDs and not to surf the Web … to read.
Let’s face it folks, the days of plopping down by a stream or propping your arms up on the bed to lose yourself in a book are quickly being lost on the younger generation. It’s hard to compete with words when the video games of said books almost hit the shelves before the tomes themselves.
And, who can blame them.
The imaginations of some of the video game designers are vast indeed, probably nurtured to that extent by reading and picturing themselves in battles with dragons, saving the princess in the highest tower or rescuing Ashley Judd from a rapidly advancing Mrs. Pac Man and being rewarded with a kiss or 77.
Ok, that last one might be a reach, but you get the picture. We of the “Pong” generation weren’t so enthralled with technical wonders … often finding the imaginations of others most stimulating for our own.
For me, it was “Where the Red Fern Grows,” which was the story of a boy and his two runt puppies, Li’l Ann and Old Dan. The two redbone hounds and the lively lass Billy became coonhunting gurus of the Midwest, sharing several adventures, rescues and heartaches.
Of course, there is not now and probably never will be a PlayStation coonhunting game. I doubt many children would find the joy in turning dogs loose, listening to them bark and then traipsing off through the woods in the middle of the night. Well, maybe if the coon turned into a rabid robot alien that shot laser beams out of its eyes while flying around singing John Denver ballads … but who would imagine that?
You could look at book sales and argue that reading is just as big today as it was back then, but those numbers are skewed by the women in this area alone crying over the latest Nicholas Sparks love tale … and, who can blame them, for Nick tugs on the old heartstrings.
It’s also very easy, in my opinion, to capture attention with romance.
To talk about first loves on a moonlit beach, her breath becoming more rapid as he pulled her closer with his strong arms. Softly, gently he brushes the windblown hair from her brow as he peers into her eyes, shimmering with the reflections of the thousands of stars dimly lighting the cool, wispy night. Closer their bodies and lips move until each feels the other’s breath, eagerly leaning in to escape in the passion of their first kiss that will … oh, you get the picture.
Problem is, that’s not suitable for children … or some adults I know.
And that’s what makes Rowling’s “Potter” series so amazing. She captures the minds of children and adults alike with humor, heartbreak, sadness and, eventually, joy in the basic plot of good overcoming evil.
Let’s hope that her trend continues so that children of every generation can continue to escape into their own minds, forgoing a video game every once in a while to feel the emotion and power of the written word.
Wouldn’t that be some magic trick?

Potter maniac

Hey pals, anybody read the Harry Potter books? I ask because I bought this last one on Sunday and finished it last night. Yeah, I'm a freak.
These books are a great read, and the movies are cute (I happened to see the first movie with a very beautiful gal and her daughter LOL). I was wondering if anybody else enjoyed them as much as I and, if you've read this one, whether you liked the ending or not. Personally, I did not ... and ole J.K. Rowling better fix some things!!!
Just curious.

Friday, July 15, 2005

For Shortcake

Hey there, if anybody is still there LOL ... I told Strawberry Shortcake I'd try to throw something on here. It seems it's very important to her LOL .... although I'll soon be within 40 minutes of the broad :-D

Yes, that's right, the Fishman is moving to Glasgow, Ky., home of ... well, I don't know really ... but soon, ME!! I've taken a job there that I'm really looking forward to and think I'll do well at ... at least I hope I do. Plus, it's a LOT more money. And when I say lots, I mean like anyone who reads this and wants to go to dinner in Nashville on me sometime in October, just lemme know :-D

Hmm, a lot has happened since my last post (duh), but I really don't want to go into that. I'm looking at Glasgow as a fresh start, a new look on life, and whatever other cliche you can use to throw in there. It's a chance for me to really spread my wings and see if I can back up what I've been talking about for a few years now ... so pray for me, A LOT!! ;-)

Anyway, I reckon I could try to do this again from time to time, but you'll have to bear with me in the move and all. I'll probably copy drunken master and do some lists and such, at least until I get settled down there.

Hope everyone is doing well!!!

Fishy <><

Friday, May 20, 2005

Need this weekend

WEll .. .it's Friday, and I've had probalby one of the most disappointing weeks of my life. It's just been horrible. The only bright spot came when I actually played some good golf THursday morning, but missed the money by 1 stroke.

Anyway, why is it that everything can be so good and then get so bad? What the heck is up with that? I seriously think that life is just a big game of The SIms. Somewhere, there is a computer nerd giggling while having all these things happen to us ... watching with joy as wer continue to strive for happiness, only to be met with uncaring folks or impossible circumstances. That, or either he's just trying to figure out how to get his Natalie Portman SIM naked and has forgotten that a polar bear is eating his other computer citizens.

Is there a cure? Who knows, but let's hope some a return to collegesque life Saturday night does the trick ... for nothing else is.

I hope you all have a great weekend ... tune in next week when we talk about the same kinda stuff .... but hopefully happier.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Eat my finger!!

Hey gang ... sorry for the Tuesday miss. I don't have a lot of time right now, either, but thought I'd thow my column for this week on here. I hope you all like it!! Oh, and I'm doing fine ... everybody leave me a note to let me know how you're doing. K? P.S. I'm a "celebrity" judge at a Hooters Bikini Contest this weekend. Can you say Woo Hoo!!!!!


If you don’t like this column, sue me.
That seems to be the mentality of our nation anyway.
Whether it be a woman bilking McDonald’s after pouring “too hot” coffee on herself or a portly gentleman targeting fast-food eateries for his bulging belly, too many Americans are looking to litigation rather than good, old-fashioned labor.
Why not when the number of lawyer ads on TV promising you cash settlements and fast action make a car accident luckier than some winning lottery tickets?
How about because lost in all the objections and continuances is your fellow man.
Oh sure, the states reaped the financial windfall of the tobacco company lawsuits, but how many farmers and factory workers are now standing in the welfare line? When’s the last time you spent less than a paycheck at the doctor’s, who shell out more for malpractice insurance than some make in a lifetime?
It’s truly a sad state of affairs ... a state that reached it’s all-time low last week in Wilmington, N.C.
Clarence Stowers recently visited a frozen custard shop in the beachside city, undoubtedly looking for a tasty treat other than a Krispy Kreme to put a smile on his day. However, instead of the luscious add-ins one gets at Maggie Moo’s, Stowers chomped down on a finger — and it wasn’t his own.
A mere 30 minutes earlier, 23-year-old store worker Brandon Fizer had accidentally stuck his hand in the mixing machine, lopping his right index finger off at the first knuckle. In fact, Fizer was at the hospital when the customer chomped down on his digit.
Granted, that probably wasn’t the most enjoyable experience ... but it certainly doesn’t justify Stowers’ actions.
The general manager of the store tried to retrieve the finger, but was brushed aside by Stower, who left the store declaring that he would be calling TV stations and an attorney. A phone call from the doctor treating Fizer garnered no better results as the finger-licking customer took it home and put it in the freezer ... ending any chance of reattaching it.
Of course, Stower’s attorney stood up for his client, claiming that he merely kept the finger to have it tested for diseases. I wonder if that’s why he’s only shown it to TV cameras? I wonder if Randy Yohe could have told him if it was infected with Ebola?
Stower didn’t care about diseases, evidenced by his rushing out of the store talking about attorneys and TV cameras. He no doubt recalled the fiasco about the finger in the Wendy’s chili — which turned out to be a hoax so someone could file a suit — and wanted his 15 minutes of fame.
Well, he got it ... and will probably continue to do so when his lawsuit puts a little Wilmington ice cream stand in financial turmoil.
The price of that, however, is denying a young man — probably working in an ice cream shop to make ends meet — the use of “all” of his fingers for the rest of his life.
So, eat it up, Mr. Stowers. Feast on the misfortune of a genuine accident and make your dreams come true by causing a nightmare for others ... it’s pretty much the American way nowadays.
If you ever need another finger, come on up to Kentucky ... I’ve got a particular one I’d like to give you.

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Shortcake's love list

Greetings blog readers ... all 6 of you!! Welcome to a new week. For me, I'm looking forward to it!!! First, I've got a cake schedule at work, doing no more than a couple of pages a night. I've got a golf tournament on Thursday (I'm also playing Monday, while you're reading this maybe) that I hope to fare well in. And, I actually feel pretty good about things.
On my way home from work just now, I thought about Starry for the first time in like 3 days .. which is a daggone miracle. And, I thought .. why they heck would I want to put myself through that anyway. As Strawberry shortcake asked on blog recently .. what makes you feel loved. Well, it wasn't starry.
See, I'm a weird guy. I could prbably be gay if it weren't for the "liking men" part, cause I'm pretty much like Julia Roberts in a lot of ways. Well, "Pretty Woman" anyway.
Let me splain.
See, I want the fairy tale. The whole package. The can't live without someone, would do anything to see them smile person, the eyes light up when you come in the room soulmate. Impossible? I don't think so. Unattainable? Well, I'm 37 and never been married. LOL
But, I've decided that I'm not gonna give up on that hope. Why should I? Why should anyone?
Anyway, there I go digressing again.
So, what makes me feel loved?
--When I take someone's hand in mine and can feel them nestling their fingers slightly to find that perfect fit.
--When I'm woke up in the morning from a sweet sounding voice that just couldn't wait another minute to hear me.
--When a gal takes my head in her hands and softly kisses each cheek, slowly moving toward my lips for a passionate, sweet moment.
--When the words "I love you" sound like a yearning to be snuggled up on a couch, under the covers or anywhere in my arms rather than just an obligatory statement before goodbye.
Yeah, all those things make feel pretty loved. But you know what does it the most? Just knowing that someone is trying to show me as much passion, courtesy and respect that I do them.
Do I deserve it? I think so ... but doesn't everybody who gives of themself to try and make something work?
Well, here's hoping we ALL get it!!! If not, chin up mates .. it's SUMMER!! There'll be golf and boats and lots of stuff to keep us occupied until that "cold" comes back. Then, if nothing else, women will seek me out just to keep warm :-D
Happy first of the week!!!

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Did you ever see a dream, walking .. well I did

Does anybody dream like me? I'm telling you, I have some of the most bizarre dreams known to man.
Last night, I dreamed I was getting married at a local church here ... but the girl and I decided to do it after meeting at a movie theater where War of the Worlds was playing. And, it wasn't a date ... just saw her in the popcorn line. So, we decide to get married 30 minutes later at a church here in town. When I get there, she has like 500 people waiting .. and I have none. So, I'm scrambling to try and call my family to tell them I'm getting married ... but none can make it on time. The last thing I remember was walking toward the altar thinking .. how am I going to kiss her when the pastor says, You may kiss the bride? Of course, that's when my phone rang at 5:45 in the morning asking me to sub (which I politely turned down cause I didn't get to bed until 2:30).
But, I've always had crazy dreams like that. When I was a kid, I used to sleepwalk like crazy .. usually having recurring dreams of snakes. Rattlesnakes in particular were my nemesis ... although I have no fear of them when I'm awake. When I was 11, I broke my two front teeth and had to have stitiches in my lip because I dreamed I was running a race ... and I was, on my bed. When I stretched to reach the finish line, I fell and hit my face on an open dresser drawer.
The last time I sleep walked was about 2000. It was the snake dream again, and I got stuck between my bed and the wall ... when I got free, I hurled my 27-inch tv at the imaginary snake. Luckily, it only broke the edges and it still worked, but it scared the bejesus out of my roomate at the time.
Naturally I have good dreams too, but there always very vivid and very colorful .. and I hear that you're not even supposed to dream in color. One dream I remember the most is about a gal in a yellow sun dress, brown flowing hair, deep green eyes and white bikini panties (i can't tell you why i remember the panties ;-) ) ... but, we were taking a hang glider ride over the beach and I was showing her all the different kinds of sharks. What the heck? Which is pretty much what I asked myself when I woke up.
So, my question to you today, blog readers ... do you dream? Are yours as vivid? And, most importantly, do they involve a naked fishman? ;-)
Happy Wednesday